Wisdom Teeth Extraction
by hashtagartistlife
Summary: Even the toughest tough guy is just marshmallows and cookies after a judicious application of… laughing gas? [Nalu]


**Soprana-snap on tumblr wrote a beautiful fic in which Natsu gets his wisdom teeth extracted and says some pretty heartwarming things about his wife, Lucy. This is a continuation.**

* * *

 **Wisdom Teeth Extraction**

by _hashtagartistlife_

Natsu woke up with a cracker of a headache and a dull pain radiating through his jaw. The room he was held in was dark; he held his breath for a moment as he oriented himself in the unfamiliar space. His soldier's instinct kicked into overdrive; or they would have, if he didn't feel oddly off-balance and woozy, like his head was stuffed full of cotton wool. He waited as his eyes adjusted to the gloom; he seemed to be in a bed of some sort, and there was a shadowy figure crouching by the end of it.

"Hello?" he called out, wincing as the hoarse voice cut through the dead silence.

"About time you're awake," came a tinkling voice, half amused, half tired. "How are you feeling?"

A lamp switched on by the bedside table, and suddenly all his memories came spiralling back, making his headache explode behind his eyes.

"Fuuuuuuck," he cursed, dropping his head into his hands. "Got any more aspirin on hand, Luce? How long was I out?"

Lucy obediently reached over to hand him two small white tablets and a glass of water; greedy, Natsu gulped them down. He glanced at his wife – wife, he thought somewhat stupidly in his head, they had been married three years and he still had trouble sometimes accepting that this perfect, intelligent, ethereal woman was his wife– and saw her attempting to stifle a smile. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Not long," she said, lips still curving up involuntarily as though she was privy to some intensely amusing secret that he was left out of the loop for, "Only about four hours. The surgeon said your metabolism was ridiculously quick, said it'll burn through the painkillers much faster than a normal person's. Of course, that means you'll burn through the sedative a lot quicker, too."

"More's the pity," she added in a sighing aside to herself, and something clicked in Natsu's befuddled brain.

"Oh god," he said, with dawning horror, "I said something stupid while I was loopy on the gas, didn't I? Shit. What did I say, Luce? Was it something to do with the ice bastard? Did I talk about that dream I had once of Gajeel dancing the hula in boxers?"

Lucy was shaking with laughter by now, but Natsu couldn't see the amusement in the situation at all. This was deadly serious business. His reputation was at stake. "Lucy, this isn't funny. What if I said something bad about Erza? Wisdom teeth surgery be damned, the woman could take ALL of my teeth out with one punch if she wanted to!"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," she finally managed to gasp out. She fished her phone from her pocket and held it in front of Natsu, playing back the video she had taken of him earlier. "Here, why don't you see for yourself?"

Wincing, Natsu leaned forward to see what kind of idiocy he had spouted while high.

'Who're you?'

'I'm Lucy. I'm your wife.'

Oh, shit. He hadn't remembered who Lucy was after the operation? He snuck a glance at his wife, who was settled onto the bed beside him, expecting her to be upset… but no, she seemed surprisingly even-tempered, content even, smiling a small fond smile at the video-Natsu in her phone. Frowning slightly, Natsu turned his attention back to the screen… only to be confronted with his dazed looking face wearing an expression of such unadulterated happiness that he almost hadn't recognised himself.

'M'wife?' Video-Natsu said, and real-time Natsu restrained the urge to roll his eyes at himself for being so thick– 'Shit. I hit te jackpot.'

A stupid grin spread over his face in the video, and a matching blush spread over his face in the real world.

"…. I said that?" he asked Lucy, and she laughed delightedly.

"You sure did!"

Aaaaand now he was trying to brag to the surgeon about his wife. To be fair, Lucy _was_ worthy of being bragged about, but gods, if Gajeel and that ice bastard ever got a hold of this video they would take the mickey out of him so hard. Not that they didn't feel the same way about their own wives – Natsu sees the way they look at their own spouses, they're all disgustingly in love – but they didn't really… bandy that affection about. As a rule. The three of them were not particularly pda-heavy people. Natsu dropped his face into his hands.

"Bury me," he moaned, "I don't think I'll survive the ribbing from Gray and Gajeel about this anyway."

"Hey, I think it was sweet!" Lucy said, mock-crossly, and in the video Natsu mumbled something about his 'teef' being stolen. In the real world, he peeked up at his wife through his fingers. "It's nice to hear that kind of thing, even if it's only because you were higher than a kite on laughing gas, ok?"

"Is that what you think?" Natsu mused, sitting up straight, and saw his wife flush in the lamplight at his abrupt change in mood.

"A-about it being nice? Of course! I-it's a bit silly and over the top but you know, every once in a while–"

"No, about me only saying it because I was higher than a kite." He gestured to Lucy, who was standing by the bed again in her indignation, and she reached out and let him pull her back onto the bed by her hands. When she was kneeling by him, he clasped her slim fingers between his callused palms and knocked his forehead against hers.

Lucy stammered a bit. "W-well, it's not like you'd say in in a straight mind, I mean, I probably wouldn't–"

"I hit the fucking jackpot," Natsu said, enunciating clearly, "I thought this the moment you agreed to be my wife and I have been thinking it ever since. Sometimes I look at you and I still can't believe I'm married to you, Luce. I am the luckiest bastard alive. I hit. The fucking. Jackpot."

Lucy was silent, but her eyes were wide as saucers and her face was the same colour as his hair. Natsu grinned devilishly, and in a single fluid movement he dropped her hands and snatched up her phone instead. "And now that you know that's how I feel sober as well, I guess you won't need this reminder. Better delete it before anyone else sees…"

"Dammit Natsu, NO!" Lucy lunged for the phone, but she was a fraction of a second too late - his thumb descended upon the 'delete' button and woozy, high Natsu was simply a fond recollection in her mind rather than a tangible, goofy, kind of touching video. Lucy scowled in his direction, but he merely handed the phone back to her tritely, pointing to his jaw.

"Hey, I'm an invalid. You won't extract your revenge while I'm in this sort of state, would you?"

Lucy just spun around huffily, picked up a few things off the bedside table, and marched to the door.

"I'm going to go make grilled chicken," she said poisonously, "but since someone's an invalid who can't have solid foods for a while I guess you'll have to stick to the pea soup."

Natsu's eyes widened in panic. "Wait, what?! No, Luce, you wouldn't do this to me, please–"

"Watch me," was all she said, before she closed the bedroom door on him.

Natsu slumped down on the bed, dejected. He had actually tried to be romantic for once, and look where that landed him! Sentenced to smell the maddeningly delicious scent of grilled chicken while slurping pea soup instead.

Well, he guessed it was a sign from above. He was never going to try to be romantic ever again.

Laughing gas be damned.

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Outside the closed door, Lucy let out a small giggle as she eyed the phone in her hands. Natsu's phone. The one she had set up by the bedside table on the off-chance he still woke up woozy. The one that had captured his perfectly sober confession to her brilliantly. (Of course, the video he thought he deleted was also safe, backed up on her laptop for her and her girlfriends to peruse at their leisure.)

Oh, she and Levy were going to have a field day with this.

* * *

'I hit. The fucking. Jackpot.'

"Aaaaaaawwwwww, he actually said that?! Lu-chan, that's so cute…!"

"I know, right? He may be an idiot, but he has his moments."

"…. …So do you reckon I should take Gajeel in for a wisdom tooth extraction anytime soon?"


End file.
